you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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