so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
