Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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