her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
