I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
