I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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