hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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