you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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