i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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