PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
