The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
