you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
