Can Purell be used as lube?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
