Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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