How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
