How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
