At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
