i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
