I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
