i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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