I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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