And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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