She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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