Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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