oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
