You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
