Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
