ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
