Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
