Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
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