I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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