2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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