my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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