U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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