Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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