I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
