After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
