Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
