If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
