I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
