Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
