Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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