she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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