she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
