I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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