it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
