do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
