just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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