But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
