I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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