Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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