You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
