This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
