Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
