Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
