"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
