dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
