I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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