I'm going to jail i love you
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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